LYMPHOMANIA



THE MUSICAL




BY

FRANK A VOLLMER


BEING A REFLECTION
ON HIS CANCER
AND SUBSEQUENT ILL HEALTH








AUTUMN NOW

ON LEARNING HE HAD LYMPHOMA

I AM MORE IN TUNE WITH AUTUMN NOW
I HAVE FELT WINTER'S FIRST CHILL
AND COULD NOT GET WARM
BUT I AM MORE IN TUNE WITH AUTUMN NOW

I HAVE WONDERED AT THE MARVEL OF THE LEAVES
AT THE BEAUTY OF THEIR PASSING
AND THEIR RELUCTANCE TO LET GO
RELUCTANT TO LEAVE THOSE THEY CARE ABOUT
BECAUSE I LOVE
AND AM LOVED
THEREBY SHARING IN THE DIVINITY

AND IN FACING THE DIVINITY
KNOW
THAT NOT EVERY DAY WAS PERFECT
EVERY DAY
WEEK
MONTH
YEAR
EVERY PAGE
CHAPTER
BOOK
EVERY I NOT DOTTED
EVERY T NOT CROSSED
AND WHEN DONE
NOT DONE WELL
WINTER THOUGHTS
WINTER THOUGHTS
BUT I AM IN TUNE WITH AUTUMN NOW

I ASK THE PAST FOR FORGIVENESS
TO LET ME LAY MY BURDEN DOWN
KNOWING THAT FORGIVENESS
IS ALSO REQUIRED OF ME
IF I WOULD LAY MY BURDEN DOWN


BUT THE DAYS OF AUTUMN ARE NOT OVER
OH THAT I COULD MAKE MY AUTUMN BEAUTIFUL
TO CLING TENACIOUSLY TO THE TREE
NEITHER WILLING DEPARTURE
IN MIND OR BODY
OR THE LEAVING OF LOVED ONES

UNTIL CALLED BY THAT GREAT SUMMONS
TO BEGIN
THAT PEACEFUL
NOSTALGIC
ACCEPTING
JOURNEY HOME

BUT
AS FOR NOW
I AM MORE IN TUNE WITH AUTUMN NOW
AND THERE IS SERENITY IN MY SOUL




























THE NAMING OF PILLS

TODAY WE HAD THE NAMING OF PILLS
BUT FIRST WE HAD THE DISMISSAL OF PILLS
THE MULTI VITAMIN AND THE E
GONE
AS IF IN DISGRACE
THEY HAD NOT PREVENTED THE CONDITION

A BIT OF WHIMSY THERE

ACTUALLY THE WERE NOT COMPATIBLE
WITH THE NEW

ONE TO KEEP THE BLOOD FLOWING
ONE FOR NAUSEA
IF I NEED IT
ONE TO KEEP MY SYSTEM HEALTHY
ONE TO ATTACK THE TUMOR
BUT THIS ONE WE NUMBER AMONG THE PILLS

THE PILLS ARE LOWLY SERVANTS
INFERIOR TO THE INFUSIONS
WHICH HAVE A BETTER PRESS

BUT ALL IN ALL A TOXIC COCKTAIL
BOTTOMS UP
AND HAIR LOSS TOO
HOW COULD I BE SO LUCKY

THE JOURNEY STARTS
A HESITANT STEP
THE DRINKS ARE SERVED

TO YOUR HEALTH GOOD SIR
I'LL DRINK TO THAT




THE C WORD

WHEN PILATE
FIRST SAID THE C WORD
TO YOU JESUS

DID YOU STEP BACK
BLINK
PRAY FOR COURAGE
DID THE WORLD GO AWAY FOR AN INSTANT

SAYING YES LORD JESUS
ENDEARS YOU TO MY HEART

IN OUR MUTUAL PASSIONS
I FIND MUCH THAT IS SIMILAR

STRUGGLING UP YOUR HILL
YOU FELL OFTEN

STRUGGLING UP MY HILL
I FIND MANY WEAK TIMES

YOU HAD SIMON
I HAVE THE DOCTOR

YOU HAD THE WOMEN OF JERUSALEM
I HAVE THE NURSES
WHO HAVE PUT AWAY THEIR WAILING RAGS
AND BECOME TRUE PROFESSIONALS

A TRIBUTE TO YOU
WHO RAISED THE STATUS OF WOMEN
BY BEING BORN

AND THEREBY SAYING
THAT ALL CREATION IS BEAUTIFUL
AND THEREFORE EQUAL

AND ON THE HILLTOP
YOU DESTROYED THE CANCER OF…
THERE I'VE SAID THE WORD
YOU DESTROYED THE CANCER OF MY SIN
YOU SET ME FREE
TO LIVE A HOLY AND A WHOLLY LIFE

AND ON MY HILLTOP
LET ME SAY WITH YOU
FATHER IT IS FINISHED
CURED OR AT LEAST IN REMISSION

AND WE SHALL WALK
OUR EASTER MORNINGS
SIDE BY SIDE

FRIENDS AS ALWAYS
WE HAVE WALKED
THROUGH THE DARK PORTAL
AND FOUND SUN SHINE


BUT FIRST
WHEN PILATE SAID THE C WORD TO YOU JESUS
DID YOU STEP BACK
BLINK
PRAY FOR COURAGE
DID THE WORLD GO AWAY FOR AN INSTANT

SAYING YES LORD JESUS
ENDEARS YOU TO MY HEART
BECAUSE SO DID I














AMONG THE STONES


I AM DOWN AMONG THE STONES
AMONG THE ROCKS THAT LITTER THE SHORE
AMONG THE POOLS THE OCEAN HAS LEFT
LITTLE TREASURE TROVES OF SEA LIFE
I AM DOWN AMONG THE STONES
IT IS PEACEFUL HERE
THE OCEAN IS A SIBILANT IN THE DISTANCE

I AM BETWEEN THE TIDES
I AM BETWEEN INFUSIONS
THE POURING IN OF MEDICINES
TO MAKE ME WELL

ODD WORD FOR ME
IT HAS ALWAYS MEANT
THE POURING IN OF THE SPIRIT
HIS INDWELLING IN ME
HIS WORKING LIKE THE MEDICINES
DRIVING OUT THE BAD

THE MEDICINE
IS GIVEN TO ME
WHEN I AM AT MY BEST
BETWEEN THESE TIMES
THERE COMES THE POINT
WHEN I AM AT MY WORST
PHYSICALLY
EMOTIONALLY
THEY CALL IT THE NADIR

I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN TROUBLED
AND UNSURE
ABOUT HOW TO HANDLE
PAIN AND SORROW
SHOULD I BE ANGRY AT MY FATE
SHOULD I ACCEPT IT
AND MAKE IT WORK
OR WILL I BE OVERWHELMED BY IT
IN TRUTH I OFTEN HAVE DONE ALL THREE
SOMETIMES SIMULTANEOUSLY


THE BEST SEEMS TO BE
TAKE IT AND MAKE IT WORK
TO TRY TO BE AT PEACE

SO I AM DOWN
AMONG THE STONES
AMONG THE ROCKS
QUIET AND PEACEFUL IN THIS PLACE
BETWEEN THE TIDES
BETWEEN INFUSIONS
I AM OPEN
TO THE WHISPERINGS OF THE SPIRIT
WHICH STRANGELY SOUND
LIKE THE SIBILANT SOUNDS OF THE SEA

































HOSPITAL GOWN


MY FRONT BEING PROPERLY HIDDEN
I SHALL NOT MENTION IT
BUT IN THE REAR
MY DERRIERE
PROVOKES LAUGHTER

AND AMUSEMENT

I DO NOT SHARE

MODESTY IS OUT THE WINDOW
ALAS ALACK ALAY
ANY ONE HAVE A SAFETY PIN
IT WOULD REALLY SAVE THE DAY
HOLDING CANE
AND CATHETER
I DO NOT HAVE A HAND
TO HIDE
MY
(FOR OTHERS)
AMUSING BUTT
AND SO I STAND A GAPING
FOR ALL THE WORLD TOO SEE
BUT SEE NO ONE’S LOOKING
AT MY
HEINIE
OR ME







THAT WORD

WHEN THE DOCTOR FIRST SAID THAT WORD
IT WAS AS IF THE WORLD HAD STOPPED

A CLICHÉ MOST TIMES
EXCEPT WHEN IT HAPPENS TO YOU

BUT IT ONLY HAPPENS TO YOU

ALL AROUND YOU
EVERYONE ELSE
WAS GOING ON
WITH THEIR JOURNEYS
ONE OF WHICH WAS THE DOCTOR'S TASK
OF TELLING ME
WHAT WAS WRONG WITH ME

AND AS HE SPOKE
A DIFFERENT DIRECTION
WAS GIVEN TO MY JOURNEY

NO TRAVELING
IT WOULD BE INAPPROPRIATE
AT THIS TIME

WE NEED THE FOLLOWING TESTS
DONE IMMEDIATELY
TILL A WEEK OF TESTS
HAD GONE BY
WHICH WHEN READ
REQUIRED MORE TESTS
A BIOPSY
AND A SHUNT INSTALLED

IT'S ALL DONE NOW
AND I SIT NOW
AS IF BEFORE A MAGIC CUP
CHALICE
GRAIL
A MAGIC CUP OF HEALING POISON

IT REMINDS ME OF GRACE
DESTROYING SIN
BUT NOT THE SINNER

DESTROYING A PART OF ME
TO LEAVE ME WHOLE

THIS IS NOT THE CUP
THAT I WOULD CHOOSE TO DRINK
IF I COULD
I WOULD SAY
FATHER TAKE THIS CUP

BUT THIS CUP IS A NECESSARY ONE
THAT I MUST DRINK

I FEEL LIKE PETER
WHEN JESUS SAID
SOMEONE ELSE WILL DRESS
AND LEAD YOU

SHELTER ME AS I DRINK THIS POTION
SURELY YOUR GOODNESS
AND KINDNESS
HAVE ALWAYS BEEN WITH ME
AND I REST IN THE PALM OF YOUR HAND
LIKE BABY BIRD
BEING FED BY ITS MOTHER


















WHO.....

WHERE HAVE I BEEN
WHERE HAVE I BEEN WANDERING
IN THE DESERT
IN THE WARRENS OF CHEMO
WHERE WORDS DO NOT MAKE SENSE
AND SENTENCES DO NOT CONNECT

BUT WHO HAS PRAYED FOR ME
WHEN I WAS ELSEWHERE
AND KNOW THE ANSWER IN THE QUESTION

BANDS OF ANGELS HOVERING
ALL THE SAINTS ARE GATHERED

BEHOLD WHO YOU ARE
THE BODY OF CHRIST
NOT GUARANTEED SAFE JOURNEY
BIT JOINED WITH THAT GREAT COMPANY
GUARANTEED SAFE DELIVERY

WE ARE STILL IN TREATMENT
THE DOCTOR CLINGS TO ME
LIKE A LOVER HE WILL NOT LET GO
NEW TREATMENTS ARE TO FOLLOW
A LOW POINT THERE
I THOUGHT I WAS DONE
TILL I WAS TOLD
REST AWHILE
THEN WE START AGAIN
DOWN A DIFFERENT PATH
DOWN WHICH I WILL GO
JOYFULLY BURDENED
BY ALL WHO HOLD ME IN THEIR HEART
AND PRAYER

WHO PRAYS FOR YOU
WHEN YOU CANNOT PRAY
GOD DOES
AND ALL HIS FRIENDS

BEHOLD WHO YOU ARE
THE BODY OF CHRIST

AND ALL THE ASSEMBLY SINGS
HOLY
HOLY
HOLY
A SOUND THAT RESONATES
WHEN ALL OTHER SOUNDS HAVE FADED





































ABC……

THE PROBLEM IS
THAT WHEN THE MEDICINE
IS WORKING
IT CLOUDS THE MIND
AND PRAYING BECOMES DIFFICULT
AND SOMETIMES INCOHERENT

THE LEGEND IS
THAT THE JEWISH SHEPHERD
COMING HOME FROM THE HILLS
TO SPEND SABBATH WITH HIS FAMILY
COUNTED HIS SHEEP AND FOUND ONE MISSING
SENDING HIS SON AHEAD WITH THE FLOCK
HE RETURNED TO THE HILL
RACING THE STAR
THAT TOLD THE BEGINNING OF SABBATH
HE FOUND THE SHEEP
AND LOST THE RACE
AND TRUE TO HIS FAITH
SPENT SABBATH ON THE HILLSIDE
WITH HIS SHEEP

ON COMING HOME
HIS WIFE ASKED
HOW ARE YOU HUSBAND
WELL HE SAID
IT WAS AN INTERESTING
DISQUIETING TIME
HOW SHE SAID

I WAS ANXIOUS TO FIND MY SHEEP
I WAS HURRYING AND SWEATING
THEN THE SWEAT WENT COLD
AND THE SHEEP AND I HUDDLED BY THE FIRE
NEVER SEEMING TO GET WARM
I SAW IN THE FLAME
YOUR BEAUTIFUL SABBATH MEAL
I WANTED TO BE HOME SO MUCH
IN THE WARMTH OF MY HOME AND FAMILY





I WANTED TO PRAY
BUT THE WORDS SPILLED OUT
IN AN INCOMPREHENSIBLE KALEIDOSCOPE
OF FEELING
OF WANTING
OF DISAPPOINTMENT

SO WHAT DID YOU DO MY HUSBAND

I SAID THE ALPHABET
FIGURING GOD COULD MAKE THE WORDS

THE PROBLEM IS
THE MEDICINE MAKES THE MIND GROW DIM

A
B
C
D……

AMEN

FRANK VOLLMER



















MISTY LAND


IN THIS MISTY LAND IN WHICH I DWELL
PRODUCT OF FATIGUE AND CHEMICALS
THE CAROLS COME
THE CAROLS GO
ECHOES NOT QUITE RIGHTLY HEARD
EXCEPT THE ONES
THAT TALK OF SIMPLER THINGS
A MAN
A WOMAN
AND A BABY
WORKING AGAINST THE ODDS
WITH HELP FROM GOOD HEARTED PEOPLE

THE CHRISTMAS STORY REDUCED
TO A WOMAN
HOLDING HER BABY
USING HER BODY TO KEEP IT WARM
WHILE THE HUSBAND TENDS THE FIRE
AND FEEDS HIS WIFE
THEIR MEAGER MEAL
BUT IN THE JOY OF THE BABY
THEY KNOW NO PRIVATION

I WANTED TO SAY
THAT MARY'S HANDLING OF THE ANGEL'S MESSAGE
WHAT YOU WANT OF ME GOD
DO
WHAT IS WITHIN ME
MAY IT BEAR FRUIT

WHAT I WANTED TO SAY
IS THAT
MY OWN ACCEPTANCE IS SIMILAR

BUT IT IS TOO BIG A STRETCH
INSTEAD I WANT TO SAY
YES TO GOD
NOT AS A SLAVE
BUT AS A LOVED ONE

YES TO GOD
THAT I WILL DILIGENTLY FOLLOW
WHERE I AM LED
AND WILLINGLY ACCEPT
THE OUTCOME

SO FROM THIS MISTY LAND
WHERE NOW I DWELL
WHERE I FEEL LIKE THE BABY
WARMED BY ALL THE LOVE AROUND ME

WHILE I WAIT FOR THE MIST TO CLEAR
I WISH YOU ALL OF YOU
THAT ARE HOLDING ME
CLOSE TO YOUR HEART
I WISH FOR YOU
THE BABY'S BLESSINGS
AND ASK
THAT HIS TINY HANDS
BEGRIME YOUR SOUL
WITH MARKS OF LOVE
PEACE
JOY AND UNDERSTANDING























PS 121/TAPS/ NIGHT PRAYER


ALL IS WELL
SAFELY REST
GOD IS NIGH

HE DOES NOT SLEEP OR SLUMBER

WATCHING ALL THE NIGHT

HE IS MY GUIDE AND PATHFINDER

MY FOOT SHALL NOT SLIP

THE BREEZE COMES DOWN THE MOUNTAIN

COOLING THE VALLEY AND DESERT BELOW

HE GUARDS ME FROM THE NIGHT DEMONS

AND THE EFFECTS OF THE MOON

HE NEITHER SLUMBERS NOR SLEEPS

HE WATCHES OVER ME

MY GOING IN AND GOING OUT

HE IS MY SHADE IN THE SUN

AND MY SHAWL FOR THE NIGHT CHILL

HE NEITHER SLUMBERS NOR SLEEPS

ALL IS WELL
SAFELY REST
GOD IS NIGH

AND NEVER SLEEPS

WERE THERE NOT TEN HEALED…



FORGIVE ME LORD
I HAVE BEEN GUILTY OF POOR THINKING

WHEN I RECOVERED
AT LEAST TO EXTENT
I CAN RECOVER
DID I SAY THANK YOU
I WISH I COULD SAY YES

BUT LIKE A MAN
WHOSE VACATION
IS MARRED BY RAIN
AND FEELS HIS VACATION RUINED
FORGETS THE BEAUTIFUL DAYS HE DID HAVE
THEY MIGHT AS WELL NOT HAVE EXISTED

SO I THANK YOU LORD
FOR LIMITED RECOVERY
AND NO MIRACLES
EXCEPT THE DAILY BEAUTY OF EACH DAY

FORGIVE ME LORD
I HAVE NOT BEEN A GOOD SERVANT
BUT UNGRATEFUL
AND MAY BE AGAIN

BUT FOR NOW
THANK YOU LORD



WERE THERE NOT TEN HEALED…








GOOD MORNING BROTHER ASS

ST FRANCIS OF ASSISI DIED AT THE AGE OF 44 AFTER INCREASING ILL HEALTH, DUE IN PART TO THE WAY HE MISTREATED BROTHER ASS, AS HE CALLED HIS BODY.




GOOD MORNING BROTHER ASS
HOW ARE YOU THIS MORNING

BROTHER MULE IF YOU DON'T MIND

AH WE'RE INTO PROPRIETY TODAY ARE WE

ONLY FITTING
AFTER THE INDIGNITIES YOU PUT ME THROUGH

I'M ONLY DOING WHAT'S BEST FOR YOU
AND ME

WELL ANYWAY
I'D RATHER BE KNOWN AS BROTHER MULE TODAY

TODAY AND EVERYDAY IF YOU SO DESIRE

OH DON'T BE SO POMPOUS
SOMETIMES YOU ACT LIKE AN ASS

BROTHER ASS IF YOU DON'T MIND
THIS SOUNDS LIKE A CONVERSATION
RUNNING AROUND IN A CIRCLE
SHALL WE BEGIN AGAIN

GOOD MORNING BROTHER MULE

GOOD MORNING BROTHER SOUL

SHALL WE BEGIN BY TAKING OUR PILLS
AS A SIGN OF PROMISE FOR THE DAY
YOU SEEM DOWN BROTHER MULE

I HAVE A QUESTION

ASK AWAY
YOU WILL NOT LEAVE ME WILLY-NILLY
AS IF YOU DIDN'T CARE

YOU HAVE MY WORD
WE WILL NOT PART BY CHOICE
SHALL WE BEGIN OUR DAY