STROKE


BY

FRANK A VOLLMER







THE STORY OF MY SHIP WRECK ON DRY LAND






BEING THE ACCOUNT OF MY LIFE
WHO TWO DAYS AFTER I WAS TOLD
MY CANCER WAS IN REMISSION
HAD A STROKE

EL SHADDAI








EL SHADDAI
EL SHADDAI
MANY BREASTED GOD
WITH MILK FOR ALL
AND PLENTY
EL SHADDAI
SHADDAI

WHERE WERE YOU GOD
WHEN I WAS LOST
WANDERING THE CAVERNS OF MY MIND
WHERE WERE YOU GOD
WHEN I WAS LOST

HERE

EL SHADDAI
EL SHADDAI
MANY BREASTED GOD
WITH MILK FOR ALL
AND PLENTY
EL SHADDAI
SHADDAI

HERE
















HOW CAN YOU HELP ME

HOW CAN YOU HELP ME CRIPPLED JESUS
HOW CAN YOU HELP ME

HOW CAN YOU SHOW ME THE WAY
WHEN YOUR HANDS AND FEET
ARE NAILED TO THE CROSS

HOW CAN YOU MEND BROKEN HEARTS
WHEN YOURS IS BROKEN BY A SPEAR

HOW CAN YOU CLEAR MY MIND
WHEN YOURS IS CLOUDED
BY THE PAIN OF THORNS
HOW CAN YOU HELP ME

HOW CAN YOU HELP ME
MY WOUNDED JESUS
HOW CAN YOU HELP ME

AND JESUS SAYS
I CANNOT
AS LONG
AS I AM FIXED HERE

FIXED HERE
TO THE WOOD
BY THE NAILS

YOU MUST TAKE ME DOWN
AND LET ME BE WITH YOU
LET ME BE A PART OF YOU
LET ME BE WITHIN YOU

THEN YOU SHALL BE
MY HANDS AND FEET
MY HEART AND MIND
WHEN YOU AND I
ARE ONE
AS I
AND THE FATHER
AND THE SPIRIT
ARE ONE

BUT…
BUT WOUNDED SAVIOR
WITH YOUR DAMAGED FEET
WE WILL NOT TRAVEL FAR

LEAN ON ME CHILD
AND I YOU

AND WEARING OUR WOUNDS
LIKE BADGES
WE WILL MAKE IT THROUGH

NOT BY DENIAL OF OUR WOUNDS
FOR THEY ARE REAL

BUT IN THE WISDOM
THAT YOU TAUGHT US
THAT YOU DID NOT SUFFER IN VAIN
OR DIE IN VAIN

THAT YOU DID NOT SUFFER
AND DIE
FOR MY FAILURE
OR MY CONDEMNATION
BUT MY SUCCESS

AT SUCH A PRICE
CAN I REFUSE
TO TAKE YOU DOWN
AND MAKE US ONE























REALITY




IT WASN’T SUPPOSE TO HAPPEN THIS WAY
I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE LION TAMER
DRAGON SLAYER
WOOD GATHERER
GUARDIAN AT THE GATE
BUT LIFE HAS CAUGHT UP WITH DREAMS
REALITY WITH FANTASY
IT WASN’T SUPPOSE TO HAPPEN THIS WAY

BUT IT HAS

AND NOW SHE WATCHES OVER ME DAY AND NIGHT
I’M GUY ENOUGH TO ENJOY IT
WHILE FEELING GUILTY

DON QUIXOTE
WITH DENTED ARMOUR
AND BROKEN LANCE HAS RETIRED FROM THE FIELD

TO ENTER INTO A DIFFERENT FRAY
THAT OF GETTING WELL

THE ENEMY HERE IS HARDER THAN ANY I HAVE FOUGHT BEFORE

BUT I HAVE MOTIVE IN WIFE
CHILDREN
AND IN
GRANDPOP “YOU’RE SO FUNNY”

LIFE IS BEING REDUCED TO LOVING
AND BEING LOVED
AND LETTING PEOPLE PRACTICE ACTS OF KINDNESS
BY OPENING DOORS
AND REACHING THINGS
THAT ARE TOO FAR
A MOMENTARY
BROTHERHOOD
SISTERHOOD
THAT SAYS
IT’S STILL GODS WORLD

ARMOUR MAY BE RETIRED
LANCE MAY BE PUT TO REST
BUT I CAN LOOK IN THE MIRROR
AND SEE GOD’S FACE BEHIND ME












































SOLILOQUY
IN A DARKENED BEDROOM



WHEN I WAS YOUNG LAD
AND ON MY COT
THE CARS GOING BY
MADE MONSTERS
RUN ACROSS THE WALLS
TO HIDE IN CLOSETS
AND BENEATH MY BED
AND DARE ME TO MAKE A BATHROOM CALL
I HAVE NEW MONSTERS NOW
OF WHOM I’M NOT AFRAID
I DON’T MEAN TO SOUND SO BRAVE
BUT I’VE LIVED WITH THEM AWHILE
THEY ARE COMPANIONS OF MY OLD AGE

A READING FROM 4 ESDRAS

ETERNAL REST GRANT TO THEM OH LORD
AND LET PERPETUAL LIGHT SHINE UPON THEM.
MAY THEY REST IN PEACE. AMEN.

A COMMON QUOTE IN EARLY CHRISTIAN TIMES
A BEAUTIFUL QUOTE
BUT WHAT DOES IT MEAN

IS IT THAT GOD WILL LEAVE THE LIGHT ON
SO THAT THE MONSTERS WILL BE KEPT AT BAY

IT NEVER MADE THE BIBLE
BUT WAS WIDELY CITED
AMONG THE EARLY DOCTORS OF THE CHURCH
WAS MADE PART OF THE SERVICE FOR THE DEAD

ETERNAL REST
A THING TO BE CRAVED
PERPETUAL LIGHT
NO DEMONS WILL COME NEAR

ODD THOUGHTS
BROUGHT ON BY PROLONGED BED REST
AND THE MEDICINE
THAT KEEPS ME IN A CONTINUAL STATE OF OVERDRIVE
AND LET’S MY IMAGINATION SOAR
AS SHADOWS FLY ACROSS MY ROOM
WHISPERING

WHY DO GOOD PEOPLE GIVES CHURCH’S A BAD NAME

WHY
TO QUOTE JONATHAN SWIFT
DO WE HAVE ENOUGH RELIGION TO HATE
AND NOT ENOUGH TO LOVE

WHY SHOULD THERE BE A DRESS CODE AT CHURCH
SO HIGH
THAT A POOR MAN
WOULD NOT FEEL WELCOME

WHY SHOULD A CONVERSION TO CHRISTIANITY
CARRY WITH IT AN APPRECIATION
OF EUROPEAN CULTURE
OR HYMNODY


WHY DO MEN SUFFER

KIND OF LATE AT NIGHT FOR THAT

NOT MUCH ELSE HAPPENING


I NEVER REALLY THOUGHT GOD GAVE JOB
A SUITABLE ANSWER


OH I WAS PROPERLY IMPRESSED
AWED
SCARED EVEN
BUT NOT IMPRESSED

WE MUST BE QUIET
SHE
WHO WATCHES OVER ME IN THE NIGHT
WILL CHECK ON ME
IF SHE HEARS A NOISE

GOD IS REALLY HER ASSISTANT
BUT HE DOESN’T KNOW IT

WE ARE MINDED THAT THE POPE
WAS COMMENDED
FOR HOW GRACEFULLY HE SUFFERED
AND HE DID

BUT IN THAT BELIEF SYSTEM
SUFFERING
CAN BE USED TO MERIT
TO ALLEVIATE
THE SPIRITUAL CONDITION
OF A SOUL IN PURGATORY
ONE CAN SUFFER THEIR MOTHER
INTO HEAVEN

OH STOP FLYING AROUND THE ROOM MARTIN
THIS IS MY ARGUMENT WITH MY SELF
NOT YOURS

I WAS ASKED ONCE WHEN I SAID THESE THINGS
HAD I FOUND GOD
I TOLD THEM I DIDN’T THINK HE WAS LOST


WHY DOES GOD ADVOCATE GENOCIDE IN THE BIBLE
IS THIS GOD’S VOICE
OR THAT OF THE AUTHOR

I WANT A GOD WHO HOLDS ME IN THE PALM OF HIS HAND
A PALM INSCRIBED WITH MY NAME
A GOD WHO LOVES ME PERSONALLY

I DO NOT THINK THAT A GOD WHO LOVES US
WOULD SPEAK TO US IN RIDDLES OR CODE


HOW MANY PARENTS
HAVE WE TORTURED AS IN HELL
BECAUSE THEIR BABIES WERE NOT BAPTIZED

IF GOD SAYS LOVE
CAN WE EXPECT HIM TO DO OTHERWISE
CAN WE DEMAND OF HIM
THE SAME HE DEMANDS OF US


THE SHADOWS FLY ACROSS THE ROOM
LESS NOW THAT DAY COMES
LIKE A WATCHMAN I WAIT FOR DAWN
MY EYES ARE GROWING WEARY
THE LIGHT COMES ON
THE MONSTERS GO TO SLEEP
AND I AM SHELTERED IN GOD’S HAND



















SOLILOQUY #2


ANOTHER SLEEPLESS NIGHT
BROUGHT ON BY MEDICINE
NOT BY WORRY
ANOTHER SLEEPLESS NIGHT
WATCHING SHADOWS RUN ACROSS THE ROOM
AS CARS GO BY
TIME WAS WHEN THEY WERE MONSTERS
BUT I’VE OUT GROWN THEM
NOW THEY LISTEN TO ME
AS I TALK TO THEM
ABOUT QUESTIONS THAT HAVE NO ANSWERS
OR AT LEAST SATISFACTORY ANSWERS

LIKE WHY ARE CHRISTIANS
KNOWN MORE FOR HATE
THAN LOVE

SO VOLTAIRE CAN SAY

OF ALL RELIGIONS,
CHRISTIANITY IS WITHOUT A DOUBT
THE ONE THAT SHOULD INSPIRE TOLERANCE MOST,

ALTHOUGH, UP TO NOW,
THE CHRISTIANS HAVE BEEN
THE MOST INTOLERANT OF ALL MEN

OR AS JOHN ADAMS OUR SECOND PRESIDENT SAID

THIS WOULD BE THE BEST
OF ALL POSSIBLE WORLDS,
IF THERE WERE NO RELIGION IN IT

IF WE ARE MADE IN GOD’S IMAGE
SHOULD WE NOT BE GOD-LIKE
AND BE LOVING
FOR GOD IS LOVE






IT SHOULD BE THE MEASURE
BY WHICH WE MEASURE
ALL THINGS
BIBLE VERSES
PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
RELIGIONS
ANYTHING WHICH DIMINISHES MAN
GOD’S SPECIAL CREATION



WHY ARE RELIGIOUS PEOPLE
OFTEN GLOOMY
WHY DO GOOD PEOPLE
OFTEN GIVE CHURCHES
A BAD NAME

PLACES
WHERE A SINNER
WOULD NOT FEEL WELCOME
FOR IF WE EXCLUDE HIM
HOW WILL HE HEAR THE WORD



BUT AS FOR ME
I KNOW THE SUN WILL NEVER SET
NOR THE MOON CHANGE ITS SIZE
THE LORD WILL SHINE ETERNAL LIGHT UPON ME
AND MY DAYS OF SORROW WILL END
I SHALL WAIT FOR THAT MOMENT
MORE THAN WATCHMAN WAIT
FOR THE DAWN

BUT AS FOR ME
IT IS NOT ENOUGH TO FIND FAULT
BUT TO LIVE EACH DAY
EACH PRECIOUS DAY
AS A PERSON MOTIVATED BY LOVE
TO KEEP MY LAMP TRIMMED
AND BE WAITING WHEN THE LORD COMES FOR ME







T.I.A.



I’VE HAD A T.I.A.
WHICH EVERYONE KNOWS
IS LONG WORD GIBBERISH
FOR A MINI STROKE

IT HAPPENED IN THE SHOWER
WHEN THE WORLD WENT AWAY
AND I COULDN’T MOVE
I DROPPED THE SOAP
WHICH ALERTED
SHE WHO NEVER SLEEPS
TO COME LOOK

I SAID I DON’T FEEL SO WELL
WHICH BOTHERED ME
I FELT BEFORE I DIE
I SHOULD SAY SOMETHING
MEMORABLE

NOT
I DON’T FEEL SO WELL

WELL WE HAD THE PARAMEDICS
AND I RODE TO THE HOSPITAL
IN AN AMBULANCE
WITH THE SIREN SOUNDING
AND ME
TELLING JOKES TO THE ATTENDANTS

THEY PRODDED
AND PROBED
CAT SCANNED
AND X-RAYED
TESTED BLOOD AND URINE

DREW THEMSELVES UP TO IMPERIAL HEIGHTS
AND DECLARED
WE THINK
IT WAS A T.I.A.
BROUGHT ON BY ALL THE OTHER
THINGS
THAT BUG YOU

SO THEY GAVE ME A NEW MEDICINE
TO GO WITH ALL THE OTHERS I HAVE
I TAKE SO MANY
I THINK THEY’RE M&MS

BUT WHAT REALLY BOTHERED ME
WAS HOW PROSAIC
MY LAST WORDS MIGHT HAVE BEEN

SO I’LL THINK I’LL SAY THEM NOW
BEFORE IT COMES ON ME
LIKE A THIEF IN THE NIGHT
AND I AM TOO BUSY
OR CONFUSED

FATHER
INTO YOUR HANDS
I COMMEND
MY SPIRIT